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Stress without a clear source that contaminate writing.

On the other hand, I think anxiety can fuel good writing, but it does take energy away from writing, good or bad.

How do we deal with anxiety?  Right now, I am not doing a good job of it.  My blood pressure is up, I have low level anxiety and I am puzzled about it.  Writing it, a lot of it is financial.  Unable to work,  I am recovering from surgery but I need money, beyond my disability check to pay all the bills. But I’ve been in worse shape than this, but I have to do something besides my thirty-year career which is over.  I have plans– two of them– but there are no guarantees.  I am stuck in the “what if’s.”  Thought I think if these two don’t work out, I’ll come up with something else.  Prayer helps.

I know I need to “turn it over” to my Higher Power and realize that it will all be OK, somehow.

I am successful in turning the writing over. I just write.  I am not ready to publish and when that happens, I’ll know how or luck will step in.  That’s true for the poetry and the novel.  I let go.  This blog, too.

But I need to do that with my health, a trickier deal.  But I’m not in control of my health.  If I have diabetes, I just need to follow my doctor’s orders.  The rest of the health issues depends on what the surgeon finds in two days. I will recover my strength although it seems to be taking forever.  Somewhere within me, I have to discover the belief that it’s in God’s hands, some loving Force in the Universe.

So later, I’ll go digging and see if I can find it.  Then I can slowly get more done on this website, the consumer work and planning the new projects and getting them off the ground.

Not to mention the poetry which is going slightly above average, blog average, the novel– less than average.  Cutting the anxiety will probably help recover more quickly and if not, more comfortably.

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